Although I'm not the most consistent blogger, having already created two blogs which I routinely neglect, I felt the urge to start a third blog after reading about Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. I had been feeling a bit melancholy lately. Spring is the season when my 89 year old dad started to decline four years ago. He had slipped into dementia and spent the months from January to May going in and out of the hospital and rehab and was not himself at all. It was hard to watch, since he was such an intelligent man and had become quite paranoid, but my mom, then 84, was a tower of strength and managed his care and brought him his favorite home made chicken soup, and her supportive presence every day. Since she didn't drive, I was by her side most of the time.
Then the unimaginable happened. While Dad was in the hospital, doing very poorly, Mom suffered two aneurysms. It seemed like the end of the world. She had surgery, but had lost the sight in one eye, was very weakened and spent almost 2 weeks in the ICU. While she was there, my father died, and she could not be there for his funeral. A few weeks later, while in rehab, my wonderful mother, and best friend, died also. In the course of one month, my brother, sister and I had lost both of our parents.
Yes, I was fortunate to have had my parents for so long, but their deaths, so close together, left me crushed and bewildered. After 4 years, I'm doing much better, concentrating on the happy memories and moving forward with life. But every year, when I feel spring coming, gloomy feelings stir within me. On the one hand, I absolutely love springtime, but on the other, the warmer air and new buds bring a sense of sadness.
SO, I've been looking for ways to boost my mood and be more positive, not only at this time of year, but in general. I've decided that it's up to me to do this for myself, and the purpose of this blog is to document the little moments that often go unnoticed - moments of joy, delight and sweetness that are part of everyday life. I want to raise my consciousness of these moments and make them important. I hope to include sketches, photos and perhaps quotations. Many thanks to Gretchen Rubin for inspiring me. I'm hoping this will be a very uplifting journey, both for me and whoever reads this.
